They say that every girl has her list for the perfect man, tall, handsome, wealthy. I never thought about it before, but I too have a list for the perfect boyfriend and husband and mine is different from the usual. I composed my perfect man from scripture and what is socially acceptable today. Sure looks do matter, and that is one of the many characteristics of the “perfect man,” but I think the way a man acts and presents himself not only to strangers, but also to his wife and family. There are some things that are non-negotiable for me, so here is my list:
Shares my beliefs: He believes in God and loves him more than he will ever love me. He supports me spiritually and I can count on him to bring me back to the right path.
Leader: He is a leader in his community, church and family. People go to him for advice and help because he will always be honest and lead them the right way. When something needs to get done, he does it quickly and without question. He makes decisions in his family on raising children and finances. He puts his family above himself.
He is honest: An honest man is truly a gift from above. He hides no secrets from his family, especially his wife even if he knows he could get hurt. He does not cheat, lie or manipulate anyone. Everyone trusts him and no one doubts his integrity.
He is attractive: He keeps himself clean cut and spiffy. He is clean and stylish and to him looks do matter. He takes care of himself physically and spiritually.He is attractive both inside and out.
He is not conceited: Even though he is attractive and respected, he is not conceited. He does not believe that he is better than anyone. He is humbled and respectful. He does not think he is above anyone.
He is slow to anger: He is patient with anyone who tries to step on his toes. Instead of revenge, he will talk his problems through. When it comes to punishing his children, he gives just the right punishment and punishes for mistakes not because he is angry.
He is still learning: The perfect man is not perfect regardless of what others think. He always continues to learn. The perfect man seeks mentorship and counsel from others in the church. Although he is a leader he understands that having a mentor is important and he also learns from the Bible daily.
Romantic: He romances his wife. The perfect man will try to do weekly dates and even after children he will try to make time. He does random acts of romance and kindness like random flowers or hidden notes.
Gets along with my family: If he is American, he will accept my Russian culture and want to be a part of it. He will spend time with my siblings and parents even when I am not around. He will accept my parents as his own and be able to communicate with them. He will also accept my siblings as his own, not only during the dating process, but also after our marriage.
Ambitious: He does not just sit at home and wonder what could have been. He has a goal and he strives towards it until he achieves it. Then, he sets another goal. He is hardworking and disciplined, but he will always put his family before his work.
Puts others before himself: Perhaps this is a quality of a leader, but I think the two are different. A real man will put not only his family before himself, but also random strangers. His kindness will be revealed to the first person he meets.
The fact of the matter is that anyone who lacks these traits will only disappoint you. These are not just looks, this character and spirit and that should non-negotiable. Many boys will put on the “perfect man” face, but if they really were perfect men, that perfect face would stay throughout the marriage. If a girl simply settles then she will be unhappy. It’s simple as that really.